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September 22, 1995

Warped

Life is warping me
Everyone tells me that life is good
I disagree
Life is not all that its cracked up to be
What do I have to look forward to?
What ever goes right for me?
Maybe I'm going through a phase, you say
All people believe this, at one time
Or another, you say
But I've through this way for years
It seems like too long to be a "phase"
No reason to live
Yet no reason to die
No need to cause emotional harm
To my loved ones
No care about an "afterlife"
I don't want another life
This one has been too much

Self Imprisonment

Locked inside this place
Not able to see you, the one I love
Only able to hear your voice
And imagine your face
To remember your loving arms around me
Your warm lips against mine
I feel as though I will never
Be allowed to leave
Or is it that I'll never really want to?
I now realize the door is not locked
I just don't want to leave

Psychobabble

Am I crazy?
Are you sane?
Should I believe a word you say?
Let's say I'm crazy and you are sane
I won't believe anything you say
Okay, and if I'm sane and you are crazy
I still won't believe you
So stop talking to me!

September 3, 1995

You Put Me Through Hell

You put me through hell
Yet I still love you

I don't know when I'll see you next
Tomorrow, next week, next month

You have me in tears over what you say
Even though you don't mean to
But how am I supposed to know?

We have an almost perfect future planned
But how can it happen with such a horrible present?

I have so many worried running through my head

Will you come tomorrow?
Are you staying here?
Where are you staying tonight?
What about beyond tonight?
How can I tell if you're serious or not
about killing yourself?
What will I do
if you actually do kill yourself?

I have all these worries
And I know yours are worse

Through all of this
I just have one thing to say

I love you