Deviations in Writing

A wave of emotion hits me
Tears begin to stream down my face
The beginning is soon lost in time
With the end nowhere to be seen
A kaleidoscope of depression
Anger
Sadness
Fear
They blend together into something so painful
All of this I don't understand
I don't see any way to help myself
And I have no one to help me
No one to comfort me
No one to wipe away my tears
And to tell me "everything's okay"
Eventually the tears leave
The emotional tide recedes
Leaving me with no answers
And no protection from another wave

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I feel an emptiness inside me
I turn and look for you
Yet you're not here
You have gone and left me
I know you didn't have a choice
But it hurts
I keep thinking
"How long has it been?"
But its been merely days
You would think I would get used to it
That the pain would ease with time
No
Each day that passes make me feel worse
Makes me feel further from you
When I see you again
I'm going to be so afraid
I won't want to let you go
I won't want this loss again
This pain again
If there was anything I could do
To keep us together
I would do it
I would do anything for us

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Anger

Fear

Depression

These are the three parts of my life

Anger toward the adults that act like children
Who look down upon me even though I would probably
Never make the bad decisions that they have

Fearful that I will never see the one I love
Or that if we do one of us will have changed
And never be the same

Depressed because I miss the one I love
The one who has brought so much to my life
And let me into theirs

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I have this thing

It’s a need
so strong
so real

It’s a need of seeing
someone's life
in my hands

And to have my hands
take that life

It’s a need of feeling
someone's warm blood
on my hands
on my body

It’s a need of tasting that indescribable taste
of someone's blood
of someone's life

It’s a need for immortality

It’s a need to take
another person's mortality
to prolong my own

I envision
my body growing strong
with each drop of blood

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Blackness

That was my life

Until the Light
Was brought to me

You gave me that light

You helped me to see
To open my eyes to the Light

Soon I forgot about the Blackness
I no longer felt the Pain

But things happen

The Blackness takes over
For some time

But you see this happen
And you try to help

But occasionally
You bring on the Blackness
The Pain

You never mean to

But it happens

The Pain of the Blackness
Is too intense to describe
Too horrible to think about

But always
You bring back the Light

I no longer see the Blackness

I see you

And the Light

The Light
Which is your Love

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